Hm Captain SAFETY ////

My Super Hero friends and Acquaintances and some Guys I don't really know

The Radioactive Avengers from the Future with astoundingly Extensive abilities
The Radioactive Avengers from the Future with astoundingly Extensive abilities

I am the one taking the photo so I am obviously not pictured - they are all a bit weird (JUST LOOK AT THE FREAKS!) so I dont really like standing near them too closely

From left to right we have Super Pointer Guy. His special powers include the ability to point stuff out, next we have the Increadibly Green Gay Lord Albino from Gore And of course Captain Canada from America, and last but not least some freak that no-one knew but didn't have the heart to ask him to step out the photo (We can call him Weird Feaky Guy from the Street).

In this photo Increadibly Green Gay Lord Albino from Gore was trying to convince Captain Canada from America and Weird Feaky Guy from the Street to indulge in a Super kinky threesome.

All the while Super Pointer Guy takes a micro-break to help protect himself from RSI which they now call OOS or Occupational Overuse Syndrome something that people in all professions must be aware of. Ooh and look there in the front!! Sneaky Asian Hiding Boy is finally spotted! He is actually in all the photos, but he is almost impossible to see

Increadibly Green Gay Lord Albino from Gore is smiling for obvious reasons.

Scary Banana Boy was the most frightening of all the Super heroes and many have called for him to be asked to join the bad guys due to his Sneaky Terror.

The Magnificent Gamma Defenders from Down Town

This is another Super Hero Alliance that I was roped into - this crew is called the The Magnificent Gamma Defenders from Down Town I actually didn't want to have anything to do with them but they really needed a credible Super Hero to allow it so that the other people didn't laugh at them when they went out on jaunts.

From left to right: Super Clean And Excessively Pedantic Mop Boy of Dubious Sexual Orientation (He is situated to the front left with a mop in his hand). Next over is the Masked Bandit He actually isn't exactly a Super Hero as such but someone in the group knew him and thought he might fit in to the group quite well. No one really knows what he does for a living but he has a Fat and Funky outfit so we just don't ask.

Super Screaming Boy is pictured on the far right - he is quite a flighty young man and he has quite an intense Homophobia problem, which combined with his Special Power mean that he didn't do too well going to the Hero (Gay Pride) Parade last year. He also seems to have a problem with Mop boy which seems to be somewhat related

Herman Munter after an exceptionally large amount of acid, became disorientated and came to the conclusion that he was actually Superman.

This photograph was taken just moments before SuperMunter tried to stop a speeding train with his teeth.

NOTE: He is not a super hero in any way and had no special powers of any kind.

Supe's Younger Brother was practically unknown to the rest of the world and as such, he often felt misplaced in society. It wasn't until much later in his life that Super Slim Shady Man discovered to his astonishment that he actually loved the company of males in a sexual kind of a way. Despite a fairly strong hatred of what he initially called "Filthy Stinking Vegemite Chasing Faggots".

The Kent's didn't take it at all well and have shunned him as a son, and I believe that this has a fairly major part of the reason that most common society haven't heard of him.
He is a very proud Homosexual, and has settled down with his wonderful partner in Outer Gore New Zealand.

A little known fact is that Superman actually had a Super sex change at age 7
Pictured above are the before and after photos (the before photo is the one on the left).

As you can clearly see he was still a total TWAT, even as a young boy

Superman had quite a problem with fatness as a younger boy

Superman actually look very different to his on screen characterisations if anything he is actually a pretty hard core westie* and is pictured here on the right in his band the Super Crap Dogs He was asked to play for Keanu Reaves really crap band Dogstar however he was too crap.

On the left he consults with his good old mate Rat Faced Monkey Boy

If you look very carefully you can see in the background The Evil Mad Cow Man Bastard he is actually gatecrashing the party and the boys really smacked the living shit out of him over the front bonnet of the Holden once they worked out he wasn't Leroy's**** friend at all He was beaten numerous times about the arms and face with a range of weapons: Shirlie's 12 Cortina Fridge Magnets, Keith's Harley Davidson Belt buckle, and one of Mikes rusty bottle top openers that he sells at the markets.
The Pussy hasn't been seen in West Auckland since!

In case you didn't work it out, Clark Kent doesn't work in a small Paper in Metropolis he actually works as a REALLY GOOD bouncer in a seedy strip joint in Fort St, Auckland however his olds didn't know that when the movie script writers were doing their research

Supe (As all his good close friends call him) declined***** to talk to them at all due to the fact that he had a Super Headache from all the piss he'd sunk the night before.

* For those who live outside Auckland New Zealand, Westie = Bogan = Trailer Trash = Never going to amount to anything **
** For my Westie friends I am of course fooling*** those arrogant bastards that aren't Westies to make them think that I actually like them! AS IF!!
*** Under my staunch demeanour I actually like most people, but don't like most people to know this - it is one of my Special Powers
****Leroy is not our mate
*****Told them to FUCK Off

Captain Crack

Everyone loves Captain Crack as he is our main Drug Dealer - Man, he is such a crack whore! I remember one time we took off to go for a ride all over the entire country. and Super Julie kept saying it all looked just like K rd


Snap is not too popular amongst the group. Mainly as most people are sure he is an undercover police officer trying to find drugs, underage drinking and that sort of thing.


Here are a whole heap of the guys round at Spideys 21st

Spiderman tries very hard to work out if Oversized Barbie is a Trans Gender Neutral person

He is doing this by looking very intently at Oversized Barbie's genital region.

The Increadible Shrinking Man from Waikato recreating his experiences in his Great Vagina Adventure

Spidey got hell pissed and started going on and on about his ability to hold his liquor

NOTE: he is about to take a swig of his bare hand as he forgot that he put his drink down cause he was too pissed.

A short time later dancing on the table

Super Woman Guy Strutting her stuff for all to see

Batman gave an absolutely lovely and sweet speech, He is pictured just moments before Incredibly Sick Guy threw up down Bat's cape

Batman (Pictured Centre) really didn't like Blue Freak Betty giving a crap speech. If you look very closely you can see that Bat is about to shoot Blue Freak Betty in the back. With a small pistol

Supe got so drunk he lost his contact lenses and he thinks that Bat is a Newspaper, so he is trying to read him.

The Increadible Shrinking Man from Waikato looks like he is contemplating another interesting adventure of a different kind.

Everyone else is very sad at the crap speech

The Ugly And Distrubingly Frightening Clown Freak Was trying to get Spidey to throw up "for a laugh" but to everones private relief it was not to be.

Later on in the night, Spider didn't want us to go home despite the fact that he had scored some trollip

Shifty Pinocchio Boy

Shifty Pinocchio Boy
His special power is that he can lie. But this sucks because he can't lie at all - everyone can see the whole "Crap-Nose-Grows-when-I-Tell-A-Lie-thing!" Maybe he should get a different Magical power. You think!?

NOTE: To all the stupid people that was Sarcasm

Lazy Fatty Man

Lazy Fatty Man always had numerous problems with the whole flying thing. It was discovered many years later that his special power was actually his ability to control both the channel and the volume of his television from afar.

The following super heroes all suck and will be thwarted easily and regularly basically they just don't do anything for us, constantly being a liability in numerous "Super Hero Situations" . And they are pathetic. And they suck. And we hate them. A lot. Cause they Suck ass.

Legal Disclaimer   |   Contact   |   Donate

Cool Teeshirts! Tee Shirts Tee Shirts